Giving up a fight unlike any other

1 Kings 3:22-27 AMP:

“Then the other woman said, “No!  For my son is the one who is living, and your son is the dead one.”  But the first woman said, “No!  For your son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.”  This is how they were speaking before the king.

“Then the king said, “This woman says, ‘This is my son, the one who is alive, and your son is the dead one’; and the other woman says, ‘No!  For your son is the dead one, and my son is the one who is alive.’”  Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.”  So they brought a sword before the king.  Then the king said, “Cut the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.”

Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply moved over her son, “O my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him.”  But the other said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; cut him!”  Then the king said, “Give the first woman who is pleading for his life the living child, and by no means kill him.  She is his mother.”” 

 

Once upon a time, a father fought with a mother over their two small sons like the women before King Solomon.  For the better part of nine years, this relentless fight raged on, a deadly fire engulfing every living thing in its way.  God only knew how this father fought with every single thing he had.  He fought bitterly for the right to be their father and all that this role encompassed.  He fought with every little shred of dignity in him, every cent, every heartbeat, every ounce of wisdom.  He stood before countless judges and advocates and wise men and women of the world.  He pleaded, he cried, he bled.  In the process, his dignity was left in tatters, he had no money left and his heart, once blindly brave, was reduced to a raw piece of leather with irreparable, gaping holes in it.  The wisdom he thought he possessed turned out to be of no worth against a massive worldly onslaught.

How he would have appreciated a wise man such as King Solomon to decide over his case.  How a swift outcome as with the two women in the Bible would have suited him, a decision that honoured the fact that he was indeed his sons’ father and that awarded him his rightful place in their lives.  A judgement that no one would ever again deny.  Sadly, he was not bestowed this grace by worldly orders.  By the end of the nine years, he found himself at a place of utter desolation and disillusionment.  He had to look in the mirror and admit to himself that he had arrived at the very end of all that he thought he had in him.  He had nothing left to fight with.  And as the wise King Salomon once did, he had to make a decision.  One that literally tore what was left of his heart in pieces.

For he chose to give up the fight.  He realized that if he was to continue taking part in this fight, his sons’ souls also would be destroyed.  The decision to spare them this fate lay in his hands.  As their father, the one who had to protect them, he could choose to withhold any further harm from them.  And he made this decision with the utmost care, for his bleeding heart was indeed moved over his sons.  He could stop them from being tossed back and forth, innocent and with no choice in the matter, to the point of being torn in two.  Any other choice would have meant more devastation, for this was how utterly deadly this fight was for so many years.  He chose life for them by giving up the fight and letting them go for a while.

In the eyes of the countless judges and advocates and wise men and women of the world that he pleaded his case to, he lost.  Some even said that he forsake his sons.  He had to ask himself where this decision left him, apart from being left with next to nothing and humiliated to the place of total despair.  Most days, the inexplicable loss and longing he experienced over his two sons drove him to tears.  He wrestled with himself and he wrestled with God over the injustice of it all.  Prideful revolt and the urge to start the fight all over again in order to prove himself to his sons and the world overtook him many times.  Every time he had to sacrifice himself all over again and choose life for his sons all over again.  Every day, he had to do this all over again.  Every day, his heart broke anew.

But, every time, he could remind himself of who God was.  For through all the excruciating pain of it all, he knew that, somehow, he had not lost.  He experienced how God was revealing Himself in surprising ways while he waited for the day of reconciliation.  He realized how incredible it was to experience these revelations in the most profound ways.  He was indeed unable to experience this while he was fighting.  He committed himself to his sons and his sons to him through prayer and faith.  He believed with all of his shattered heart that great was the victory for those who gave up the fight in order for love to prevail in the end.  He realized that through the humbling process of admitting his inability to fight with his own means any further and looking to God for help, incredible relief was to be found.  He read of the many battles of God’s people against those more powerful than them and these words he made his own, “Be not afraid or dismayed at this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.  You need not fight this battle; take your positions, stand and witness the salvation of the Lord who is with you.”  2 Chronicles 20:15-17 AMP

Because of this, his hope for his sons was very much alive for it was not placed on worldly orders anymore.  Because of this, he could give up the fight.  And this was all he needed to know.

 

 

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